I usually do not cross post on the NG Discussion Board and the "other' boards, but I'm making an exception today. I thought that those who don't frequent one board or the other might still enjoy this:
I have recently started some draft writing on a book about some of my personal experiences in my half-century plus as a Colorado native and Rocky Mountain region resident. I plan on it being a combination of prose and photos that will capture the "flavor" of the region as I have experienced it. As I was gathering some thoughts, I wrote up some stuff about what it means to be a "real" Coloradan. I thought that I would share those to see what kind of reaction I would get. So . . .
You know you’re a “real” Coloradan when you can remember when:
• There were real farms between Denver and Boulder, and between Loveland and Fort Collins.
• The Air Force Academy was out in the country.
• Stapleton was the airport, and it almost was out in the country.
• Highlands Ranch was—well—a ranch.
• “South Park” wasn’t a cable TV show, and it still had water in it.
• The Arkansas River Valley east of Pueblo grew more than tumbleweeds.
• You knew what a “slash-burner” was and that every mountain town had one or two.
• Vail was a sheep pasture.
• “Junior” and “Senior” were important because they described your water rights.
• Instead of your kid knowing what “YouTube” is and how to use it, he knew what a “siphon tube” was and how to start it.
• People drank Coors or Tivoli beer in Denver and Walter’s beer in Pueblo.
• The Gates V-belt on your car was actually made in Denver, and so was the Samsonite suitcase in the trunk.
• Telluride was a mining town without a train anymore, or many tourists, either.
• Climax was a mining town with a train and NO tourists.
• Silverton was a mining town with a train and lots of tourists at lunchtime.
• You knew that “cribs” didn’t refer to something that a baby slept in.
• The Little League team (in uniform) could usually buy a pitcher of beer in Leadville on Saturday afternoon.
• You could probably gamble in Black Hawk and it WASN’T legal.
• You could buy Geiger counters, blasting caps, and dynamite over-the-counter to go uranium prospecting.
• “Hard rock” wasn’t a club, but a mine.
• You knew what “stopes,” “adits,” and “jack drills” were, and you could actually make money “mucking.”
• “High grade” didn’t refer to drugs, but referred to ore.
• “Natives” were fish, and—unlike either the fish or the people in Colorado so named today, there were lots of ‘em.
• The most powerful group in the State Legislature was the “Cowboy Caucus.”
• Western Slope water pretty much stayed on the Western Slope.
• You knew what a “beet dump” was and what it smelled like.
• People sprinkled their “clinkers” in the alley to melt the ice. You knew what “clinkers” were.
• The “domain” wasn’t something on the internet, but the public lands where ranchers grazed their cattle and sheep.
• All Colorado license plates were green and white, had two letters and up to four numbers; and you could tell where somebody was from by the letters.
• There was a bounty on coyotes and you would bring the ears to the County Treasurer to collect the bounty.
• In springtime, you’d order an iced tea and a glass of water in the café in a mountain town and you couldn’t see the difference.
• You were less likely to get Montezuma’s revenge drinking from a mountain stream than you were from drinking the town water.
• Before you could wash the dishes in the sink, you’d have to throw the tadpoles out of the water that came out of the tap (city water).
• Some state highways were still gravel.
• The town ambulance was often a hearse.
• You knew what a “DuPont lure” was (dynamite) and that it was a quick way to catch your limit when you didn’t have time for “conventional” fishing.
• “Rich” people went to Aspen to ski; “poorer” people went to Winter Park—and everybody who skied broke their leg at least once.
• “Bear traps” were ski bindings and they did the same thing to your leg that a real bear trap did to the bear’s.
• “Jeeping” and drinking beer went together. The worse the road, the more beer. When stopped, the left side of the Jeep was the men’s room; the right was the ladies’ room. Nearby bushes were appreciated, but sometimes optional.
• Up in the mountains, “Skunk cabbage” (actually False Hellebore) leaves could be used as a substitute for toilet paper. It didn’t work very well, especially if you didn’t shake the ants off the leaves first. It still doesn’t.
• When you got home from your camping trip, you would strip and throw your clothes in the dry bathtub so you could see the ticks crawl out. You’d put kerosene or the head of a just snuffed match on the butts of the ones that had burrowed into you, so they’d back out.
• Every pickup had a “sheepherder’s jack” in the back and the driver knew how to use it.
• Drinking whiskey “family-style” out of the bottle was a camping tradition. The cork got thrown in the campfire.
• Having a “belt” for breakfast in hunting camp was acceptable because the whiskey was the only thing not frozen solid.
• “Going soft” when camping meant sleeping in a tent instead of “under the stars.”
• The only “self-service” gas was siphoning and it usually took two or three beers to get that gas taste out of your mouth.
How old do you have to be to remember all of this? I’m a baby-boomer and I can remember all of it in Colorado. As John Norwood penned in the introduction of one of his books about the narrow gauge, "Too bad it all changed."
I should add that I comtemplate that this book WILL have a significant discussion of Colorado railroads, especially the narrow gauge . . .
