Dang it, Skip -
You must be a long-distance mind-reader. Jist last week I was a-workin' on remembering that
there song about 'A Very Unfortunate Man', an' your post remahnded me o' one of the versus.
I'll try to get 'er down here, and will highlight the revelant line
:
"There was a young lie-yer named Percival Clay
He had but few cli-ents, and they wouldn't pay
At last of starvation he grew so afraid
That he courted and married a wealthy old maid
[Chorus:]
"He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate ma-an.
He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man.
"After the wedding they danced for a while
She fed him some wine for his heart to beguile
They danced a bit more in a tender embrace
And then she suggested going home to her place
[chorus]
"She went to the wash-stand to bathe her fair face
Thus she destroyed all her beauty and grace
The rose on her cheek quickly grew very faint
And he saw on the towel 'twas nothing but paint
[chorus]
She hung her false hair on the wall on a peg
Then she proceeded to take off a leg
The lie-yer was biting his quivering lips
While she was removing her counterfeit hips
[chorus]
The trembling lie-yer thought sure he would die
When she asked him to come and take out her glass eye
Just then her false nose clattered down on the floor
The poor lie-yer screamed, and ran out at the door
[Chorus (slowly ... )]
- Russo
p.s. The above is based on a traditional western ballad from high in the Rocky Mountains west of Denver, Colorado:
"There was two crooked lie-yers named Behrens & Bell
Tools of the Devil, they came straight from Hell
They arrived in Georgetown an' took over the Loop
Which they nearly destroyed, an' that's the real poop
[Chorus:]
"
It's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate tale.
It's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate tale.
"The Ashleys escaped with their lokeys and shays
Which made them there lie-yers act even more crazed
They soon ran their one steamer so hard that it died
So they bought a diseasel to save their sad hides
[chorus]
"The diseasel was long in the front and the back
It was so ungainly that it soon jumped the track
The word got around that the line was unsound
They were runnin' the railroad right into the ground
[chorus]
"Business dropped off, and the merchants did howl
Behrens and Bell shoo'd them off with a scowl
Miz Condi-Google-Eyes put on her false smile
Said things would get better in just a short while
[chorus]
"In spite of their words that things soon would be fine
The traffic to Georgetown was in steep decline
The sales of souvenirs dropped to the floor
So the railroad's contractor was shown out the door
[chorus]
"Joe, Lee and Georgie were finally reined in
But not put in jail in spite of their sins
Everyone's thankful they're effectively gone
And with their dismissal the Loop can move on
[chorus]
"Eventually Phil and his buddies came back
It looks like the Loop is now getting on track
Passengers are returning, and here is the reason:
There's a Shiny New Steam Engine ready this season!
[final chorus:]
"
It's a real fortunate, It's a real fortunate, It's a real fortunate tale.
It's a real fortunate, It's a real fortunate, A surprisingly fortunate tale.
Copyright © 1892, 2010 by R. B. Sperry - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 04/21/2010 11:40PM by Russo Loco.