This just in from Georgianatown, CO
:
"A freak accident during the on-location filming of a new "adult" western, The Curmudgonly Seven
*,
has caused the collapse of four spans at the upper end of one of Colorado's most famous and re-
cognizable historic landmarks, The Devil's Gate Viaduct (aka "The Pearly Gates bridge"). No lives
were lost, but cinematographer "Wacky Roger" Hogan was injured. The train crew and several of
the film's actors narrowly escaped death during the mishap.
"According to eye-witness accounts, Mr. Hogan was positioned just above the track on the north end of the structure when the tragedy occurred. He was standing on a slope, facing toward the bridge, prepared to film an action scene. (Having grown up in Jerome, Arizona, Hogan's right leg is 3" longer than the other, and he is comfortable on such precarious hillsides so long as the upward direction is to his left - see [
ngdiscussion.net] et seq.) Unfortunately, the films' director - Clunk Westwood - yelled at him to follow the fisticuffs ensuing between the two white-hatted heroes and the two black-hatted lawyer villains, which was occurring on the top of the fast-moving diseasel locomotive. As it passed his location, the engine struck a five-gallon can of green boiler jacket enamel surreptitiously placed between the rails by a scruffy-looking vagrant, and derailed. Caught up in the excitement of the moment, Mr. Hogan swung around - placing his shorter leg downhill from the longer one - and lost his balance as a result.
"Hogan rolled down the hill, and struck the precariously balanced locomotive just beneath its cab. The impact was sufficient to dislodge the engine from its perch, and it rolled down the hill - gaining speed with every revolution - and crashed into one of the bridge's support piers. Unfortunately, this previously stark naked concrete footing had just recently been discretely clothed with a veneer of cut stone. Several of these were broken loose; they cascaded down the canyon and knocked down one leg of the next support. Thus weakened, the entire north end of the bridge collapsed, with several piers falling like a row of dominoes. Luckily, all of this happened slowly enough that the two heroes - Russo de los Locos & Scott OverTurner, villians Jason Weimaranal & Elmo Saladbar, and heroine Stacy Fuseé (reenacting Marilyn Monroe's starring role in 'A Ticket to Tomahawk' many years before) were all able to leap to safety before the bridge fell. Mr. Hogan received only superficial bruises as a result of his collision with the locomotive." The Swiss engine driver and his bowler-hatted firemen also escaped with only minor injuries, but several bottles of Santa Paula Girly Beer and Arrogant Son-of-a-Bitch Ale being shipped to a cast party planned for later in the evening were shattered.
(Narrative copyright © 2010 by The Tiffany Tattler - All Rights Reserved.)
* See [
ngdiscussion.net] for a synopsis of this film.
Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2010 11:52AM by Russo Loco.
